Confessions of a(n accidental) wedding crasher 🥴
I *swear* I was invited...
Once upon a time, when I was barely out of college, I crashed a lovely couple's wedding.
(No, not intentionally. I'm not a menace!)
Here's how it happened:
The guy I was "talking to" at the time (as the kids say now) was asked to be a groomsman in his former roommate's wedding.
He invited me to join him for the festivities as his Plus One.
I barely knew the roommate and didn't know his fiancée at all. But, I was a sucker for a good cover band and any chance to get dolled up (still am). So, I said, "Why not?"
My first clue should've been the seating arrangement at the rehearsal dinner (yep, crashed that, too...). He was seated with the rest of the wedding party, while I was marooned at what appeared to be some kind of hastily-set stragglers' table.
Or maybe it should've been the hand-written place card at the actual reception. (Beautiful penmanship, just one problem: Everyone else's were computer printed.)
But, by the time I thanked the bride's parents for a delightful time at the farewell brunch the following morning, their politely puzzled expressions were all the proof I needed:
I WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE HERE FOR *ANY* OF THIS!
(Was my date just kind of a dumbass? Too self-absorbed to note the lack of “AND GUEST” on his invite? Yes, to both. But that’s neither here nor there.)
The point is: I carry the permanent stain of crashing someone else's party. And damn it if stepmom life doesn't feel the same exact way at times.
"I feel like an intruder in my own home. Like I'm interrupting their family... even though I was definitely invited to be there!"
I hear this so often — *especially* from new stepmoms who wonder:
if it’s normal to feel like a total imposter, and
if it’ll always feel that way
My answers:
Yes, yes it is, and
No, it won’t... but there’s a whole lot you can do in the meantime to make things feel less awkward for yourself.
Joining one of our New Stepmom Group calls inside The Stepmom Sessions membership is one very wise place to start!
It's equal parts must-know info for women in the early stages of stepmom life + genuine encouragement to help keep you going when you start to lose your way.
Sessions are guided by me and powered by the empathy and real-world insights of the other stepmoms on the call.
Take it from a new stepmom who had this to say about the sessions I lead:
“Every time I think I don’t have enough going on to share with the group, someone shares an insight or recommendation that’s so perfectly timed, and I end up miles ahead of where I started.”
(See what I mean?)
Even if you're well beyond considering yourself a "new" stepmom, drop into any one of our other sessions and you'll find that same dreamy blend of support + guidance.
I promise you: This is one party you have FULL permission to roll up to without warning.
And forget the stragglers' table. Because you — *say it with me* — can sit with us.
New here? Hi, I'm Michaela Bucchianeri, PhD — psychologist + stepmom of 12 years
…and I can’t wait to help you live a stepmom life you love.
Becoming a stepmom rocked my world in just about every way. And while this role brings so much potential for joy and fulfillment… the path to getting there isn't always intuitive.
Now? I'm on a mission to help you create a stepmom identity that's all your own– so you can worry less, shift your energy to whatever lights you up, and start having (way) more fun.
A few places to start:
💌 Subscribe to The Stepmom Sleepover. Join our week(end)ly, virtual slumber party where you’ll find candid stories, game-changing stepmom skills, and a roundup of goodies— from relevant research to book recs to stepfamily-approved recipes + more! Stepmom life’s a whole lot easier when you’re not doing it alone!
📺 Check out our YouTube channel. With fresh content (+ live Stepmom Chats) daily, this is where you’ll find all the trending topics, real-time conversations, and video library of resources for stepmoms, all in one place! New videos every week.
💬 Come say Hello! Slide into my DMs and let’s chat about stepmom life!
To get in touch with me directly, send me a DM or email hello@theanxiousstepmom.com.
I’m so glad you’re here!