🚫 There'll be none of THAT going on here
When we say we're "judgment-free", we mean JUDG👏MENT👏FREE👏.
"Soooo... how long have you two been a couple?"
Every head turned to face the woman to whom the question was directed. She was the newest hire at the hospital where I worked.
(She also happened to be a stepmom— though it didn't register as significant at the time, years before I'd eventually meet my now husband.)
"It's been, um... we've been together about 4 years now."
My senior coworker who'd asked the question scrunched up her face in confusion. "Wait, I thought you said he and his wife divorced only THREE years ago...," her eyes narrowing as she awaited an explanation.
I drew in a quick breath and held it. (I'd passed Kindergarten math, I knew where this was headed.)
"Well, that's true. There was some... overlap... in our relationship."
"Oh, I see," Senior Coworker countered. Then she added, with emphasis:
"OVERlap."
You could've heard a pin drop. It was excruciating.
I've thought about that moment so many times since then— and straight-up ruminated about it since becoming a stepmom.
Given the chance, I'd time-travel back to that awful workplace "meet and greet" and stage some sort of intervention. Burst into song, crank out some jumping jacks, anything to put that stepmom out of her obvious misery.
But, of course, I can't. That opportunity's long gone.
So, here's what I can do instead:
I can promise you that if you join me inside The Stepmom Sessions, you'll never once be subjected to that kind of scrutiny. I simply won't stand for it.
Hosts of digital spaces often boast about the judgment-free environment they provide. Far less often do they spell out what they mean by that.
Here's what *I* mean:
When we gather for a support group session, we're not there to police one another's choices. We come to our sessions with a spirit of openness, honoring the dignity of each woman on the call, and reserving judgment even when — especially when — her version of this role looks different than our own.
I say that's the least we owe each other as stepmoms. We get enough judgment already, amiright?
With loads of love (+ RESPECT) for you,
Michaela
New here? Hi, I'm Michaela Bucchianeri, PhD — psychologist + stepmom of 12 years
…and I can’t wait to help you live a stepmom life you love.
Becoming a stepmom rocked my world in just about every way. And while this role brings so much potential for joy and fulfillment… the path to getting there isn't always intuitive.
Now? I'm on a mission to help you create a stepmom identity that's all your own– so you can worry less, shift your energy to whatever lights you up, and start having (way) more fun.
A few places to start:
💌 Subscribe to The Stepmom Sleepover. Join our week(end)ly, virtual slumber party where you’ll find candid stories, game-changing stepmom skills, and a roundup of goodies— from relevant research to book recs to stepfamily-approved recipes + more! Stepmom life’s a whole lot easier when you’re not doing it alone!
📺 Check out our YouTube channel. With fresh content (+ live Stepmom Chats) daily, this is where you’ll find all the trending topics, real-time conversations, and video library of resources for stepmoms, all in one place! New videos every week.
💬 Come say Hello! Slide into my DMs and let’s chat about stepmom life!
To get in touch with me directly, send me a DM or email hello@theanxiousstepmom.com.
I’m so glad you’re here!