"What if I have zero (or minimal) contact with the ex?"
Answering your most-asked questions about The Stepmom Sessions membership.
During yesterday's live Stepmom Chat over on TikTok, I got this great question:
"In every stepmom group I've been part of online, there's so much focus on the ex [i.e., the stepkids' mom]. I don't have any direct contact with my stepson's mom and I don't think I ever will. Would I be a good fit in this membership?"
Here's what I told her:
Certain themes come up repeatedly when we talk about stepfamily stressors. The dynamic with the other household (and with mom, in particular) is high on that list.
But, it's not mom's behavior itself that's usually worth talking about — it's the insight, lesson, opportunity behind the behavior. The "so what?"/gem of a takeaway that it triggers for the stepmom who's asking about it.
One of the defining features of The Stepmom Sessions membership is that group sessions are facilitated (by me 🙋♀️). If someone brings up an issue with mom, she'll have the space to share, but then it's my job to guide the conversation toward universal ideas that any one of us can use.
See, left to our own devices in groups (and through no fault of our own), most of our conversations will lapse into the same ideas spun round and round.
(It's why that Facebook group or subreddit or local meetup you joined became an echo chamber of frustrated/frustrating rants over time.)
The groups you'll find inside The Stepmom Sessions are different. So, whether mom's a source of chronic stress OR someone you have zero dealings with, I'm confident you'll find the conversations supportive and relevant to you.
What other questions are you mulling over on the other side of this screen?
Maybe you're thinking:
"How is this different from all of your free resources?"
"Lately I'm so overwhelmed-- I'm afraid I won't follow through between calls."
"Money's tight right now. Help me justify one more expense?"
"I'm concerned about privacy. Is it OK if I leave my camera off during calls?"
"Are these therapy groups?"
"I'm already part of another program. Will this conflict?"
If so, you can find my answers right here.
New here? Hi, I'm Michaela Bucchianeri, PhD — psychologist + stepmom of 12 years
…and I can’t wait to help you live a stepmom life you love.
Becoming a stepmom rocked my world in just about every way. And while this role brings so much potential for joy and fulfillment… the path to getting there isn't always intuitive.
Now? I'm on a mission to help you create a stepmom identity that's all your own– so you can worry less, shift your energy to whatever lights you up, and start having (way) more fun.
A few places to start:
💌 Subscribe to The Stepmom Sleepover. Join our week(end)ly, virtual slumber party where you’ll find candid stories, game-changing stepmom skills, and a roundup of goodies— from relevant research to book recs to stepfamily-approved recipes + more! Stepmom life’s a whole lot easier when you’re not doing it alone!
📺 Check out our YouTube channel. With fresh content (+ live Stepmom Chats) daily, this is where you’ll find all the trending topics, real-time conversations, and video library of resources for stepmoms, all in one place! New videos every week.
💬 Come say Hello! Slide into my DMs and let’s chat about stepmom life!
To get in touch with me directly, send me a DM or email hello@theanxiousstepmom.com.
I’m so glad you’re here!